A Life Changing Conversation (son and mom)

Son:  mommy, why are you mean to me?
Mom:  What, I’m not mean to you?   What do you mean, mean?   Sweetie, you think I'm mean to you?  Really?
Son:  well, you talk to me differently than you talk to other people?
Mom:  What do you mean differently?
Son: ...you always seem angry at me.
Mom:  I’m not ALWAYS angry with you... I just get frustrated that’s all.  I loose my patience from time to time.
Son: why you don’t get frustrated with other people or loose patience with other people?
Mom: Ahh...well... I do sometimes, but...I can’t just go around yelling at people at work or at the store or at the bank.
Son:  so, why do you yell at me then?
Mom: Umm, well.  you see.  You are my responsibility and other people aren’t my children.
Son: so why do Mommys and Daddys get to yell at their children?
Mom: You are 3 years old.  Why are we having this conversation?  I have to cook dinner now and, do the laundry, and your sister will be getting up from her nap soon.
Son: you are starting to do it again.
Mom: What?
Son: i don’t like your voice
Mom: What voice?  This is my voice.  My voice is my voice.
Son:  no.  It changed.  The sound of your voice changed.   It sounds like you don’t like me again.
Mom: What? I LOVE you!  I love you soooo much.   Is that what you think when I talk like that... you think I don’t like you?
Son:  ... yes, (crying and sniffling) that’s what it feels like.
Mom: Oh my gosh.   I’m so sorry.   I don’t know what to say.  I don’t want you to feel like that. (Hug)
Son: can’t you just talk to me like you talk to other people? nicely?
Mom: Ahh.   Yes. Well,   I’m going to try.  I’ll try really hard.   But you might have to help me. Can you help me?
Son: i love helping!
Mom: You are too much...Okay, so, if you notice my voice changing, you can just tell me. You can ask me to speak nicely to you.  And I’ll try.
Son: great!!
Mom: But I might need your help cooperating, or I might need to take a break to recharge my batteries?
Son: you have batteries?
Mom: Ha! no, but, I might need to take a five minute break to lie down or just be by myself.   That would really help me.   Do you think we could do that?
Son: okay.  I can play lego when you do that.
Mom: You are amazing sweetie.  I’m going to try.  I’m going to try harder.  Why do I feel like sometimes you are the parent and I’m the child?
Son: what?  I’m not your parent.  That’s crazy.
Mom: Ha! but, ya  sometimes it feels like...I love you.
Son:  i love you too Mommy.

 

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